Dealing with common relationship issues
By Love and Relationships Staff
In my work helping couples to get the most of their relationships I am often presented with similar issues and topics of discussion. Many arise from misconceptions about what couples are likely to get out of a relationship, and from not really understanding what the other partner is wanting.
Below are 6 of the common issues I come across when working with couples, and advice on how to deal with them in your relationship.
Common issue #1; My partner isn’t making me happy.
What you can do; Take responsibility for your own wellbeing.
Your partner can’t make you happy. Only you can do this for yourself. You need to take responsibility for caring for your physical health and your mood yourself.
Common issue #2; I’m not making my partner happy.
What you can do; Allow your partner to take responsibility for their own wellbeing
Don’t assume that you can make your partner happy or solve their problems. You can’t, ultimately it’s up to them, just as it is your job to keep yourself happy.
Common issue #3; My partner doesn’t appreciate and notice all the things I do for them
What you can do; Ask your partner what they want, and listen to them.
Not everybody is the same. Cooking dinner for your partner may be your way of expressing love. But your partner may not see it that way. Ask your partner what they value, and use this understanding to increase their appreciation of you.
Common issue #4; My partner doesn’t support me
What you can do; Notice the things your partner does to try and support you
Things you could take for granted may be ways your partner is trying to show love. These may be such simple things as cooking, doing washing or working overtime. Consider how your partner may be doing these things as an act of love for you.
Common issue #5; My partner tells me I don’t listen to how they feel
What you can do; Listen to your partners feelings and reflect them back to them.
Your partner will feel validated and accepted by you if you listen to their feelings and describe them back until you’ve shown you really understand how they feel. This is not about solving problems, but rather about listening and showing you understand.
Remember; Don’t try to solve or change the issue unless your partner invites you to help or to give your opinion.
Common issue #6; My partner tells me I’m not grateful to them
What you can do; Thank your partner every day for something about them that you genuinely feel grateful for
You will be better able to do this if you notice your partners’ efforts to care about you.
Using these simple tips and changes in perspective can help you to feel better about yourself, your partner and your relationship. Try it, go on.
Article RatingRate this article: 
Reader Comments