Over our life, we will have to end one or several important relationships at some times, and it is very tricky to do this in a way that shows respect for ourselves and the other person. It seems to be a difficult thing to do, and many people look for how to figure this out.
How to know it is DEFINITELY time to END the relationship:
1. Abuse. If you are receiving abuse from your partner, you need to walk out right now. Abuse generally escalates and gets worse over time. But if you are the one who can not control your anger or jealousy and are abusing your partner, then you must leave your partner - it is as essential for you as for your partner - Get help immediately to deal with the abuse.
2. Addictions. If your partner has an addiction, and refuses to get professional help for controlling it, then you need to carefully think whether or not you are in danger. For example, if it is a gambling addiction, you may find you have no control of your money and lose your ability to live safely and securely. With drugs or alcohol, there could be actual danger to you (or children) if your partner is not in control of their actions.
3. Cheating. If you or your spouse are not faithful to each other and are having affairs, there is a terrible breach of trust in the relationship. This can be very difficult to get past. It is not impossible, and certainly with professional counseling couples have gone on to develop strong marriages. But you will need to think carefully about this need to have both parties working together on the problem.
4. Pressure. If you or your partner wants something different from the relationship, you are likely going to have to end it. For example, if you want children and your partner is adamant she or he does not, there is not much point in continuing the relationship. Ditto if one of you wants to get married, and the other feels the relationship is a temporary one. Do not pressure your partner if they are clear with what they want or do not want.
5. Unequal love. You may feel deeply in love with him or her, but unfortunately you may find that your partner does not feel the same way at all. This inequality of feelings will only lead to resentment and unhappiness in the long run. Stop wanting to change the other person's feelings - it won't happen. Or if it is the reverse for you, you need to let go of the illusion that your partner will finally eventually come to love you the same as you love him or her. It's a fantasy to drop.
When it is NOT necessarily time to end the relationship:
- After a blow-out fight. Arguments, big disagreements, big misunderstandings - these are normal parts of a relationship and are a sign that the couple needs to learn how to communicate better, not necessarily break up. Interestingly, there are more blow-out fights when one or both have been drinking, so take note of that. Remember when you drink that your ability to reason logically and to think clearly and rationally is very impaired - this makes it easier for something small to escalate to a big argument.
How to break up:
1. In person. Face to face. Preferably sitting down so you both behave. It is important to be respectful and meet with your girlfriend or boyfriend in person to end the relationship.
2. In private. If you can find a place that is relatively private, this will be better for both of you, in case there are tears or lots of emotion. You do not want to feel humiliated or embarrassed in person, and do not put your partner in that position either. So, think about this carefully.
3. Without a made-up "reason". Often when one person is ready to end the relationship, they will pick a fight, or find something to argue about that "proves" the other person is not worth staying with. This is tempting, but do not do it. It is a rather unconscious thing, but you can be careful and make sure you do not do this. And also do not do something to anger your partner enough for them to do the breaking up! Be responsible for your own feelings here.
4. With respect and honesty. You DO need to tell your partner so they know why you have decided to end the relationship, because there is a reason (or reasons). Be clear about your decision, and that you are not going to discuss that reason or those reasons, you are not going to argue, you have decided. Be honest and fair, and say it with respect. You do not have to call someone names to get the point across.
You see that it can be a bit complicated about ending relationships, but these guidelines may help. After reading this, you might realize that the problems you and your partner have can be worked on, and maybe you do not want to end the relationship at all. Great - get working on what needs to be learned, and start talking with your partner about how you want to have a great relationship with them. On the other hand, if it is clear to you by now that the relationship needs to end, then get moving right now and end the relationship, without dragging it out any longer.
There is so much more to learn about successful love relationships. Click Here Now if you if you want to move on, or if you truly want a better relationship. Get the very best information possible!